Post by pigzapper on Jan 25, 2016 22:08:06 GMT -5
A long time ago...in a galaxy far, far away......Star Wars was happening. But that was there and then. This is here and now. It's time that I speak up about my experience with Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS.
Hello. My name is Billy Smithers. No, not that gay guy on The Simpsons. He's my 2nd cousin. I have been blogging about top quality video games such as FNAF, FNAF2, FNAF3, FNAF4, FNAF World, Candy Crush, Custer's Revenge, and Super Monkey Ball. However, recently I decided to purchase Super Smash Bros. for the Wii U. Nothing wrong with that, right?
Haha...WRONG
It started when I looked up "popular video games". I saw it and looked for it at the store. I found it and asked my mom for $20 to purchase it. She refused and told me I needed a job. I applied for a job at Pizza Hut, so I came in with a security guard uniform, flashlight, and plushies of Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, Mangle, FNAF1 Golden Freddy, and FNAF4 Fredbear.
I was immediately fired. What a bunch of overrated normies.
Anywho, I spent most of my time in my Dank Swag Cave of 9000 Waifu Pillows (which, if you must know, is located in my mother's basement) crying and playing Super Smash Flash 2. I made a post on 4chan asking if anyone was selling it for under $10 on Craiglist.
2 years. I waited 2 years with nothing but Smash Flash 2 and my waifu body pillow of genderbent Goku. But then everything changed when the fire nation attacked (NO JUST BECAUSE I SAID THAT DOESNT MEAN I LIKE IT I HATE IT IT ISNT ANIME IT WAS MADE IN AMERICA OH MY GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE SO DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!111111111111111one!!!!!!!11)
I checked 4chan and, within all of the fat shaming, Shrekposting, and senseless gore, I managed to find a comment saying that he was giving away a limited edition copy known as Golden Smash Bros. that included Custer, AiAi (Super Monkey Ball),
Freddy Fazbear, the Puppet, and Springtrap, as well as a select few characters having unlockable "Golden" versions, which were gold-colored versions which were more powerful.
I asked him for his address and he told me to send him a message on spookydeepwebemail.chubsme.onion that contained a ceaser cipher encryption of my address backwards. When I asked why, he told me it was because that was the only game copy in existence that he found in a trash can in an alley behind an mental institution. When I asked him why he was going through a mental institution's alleyway trash can, he said "Trust me, some things are better left unspoken."
I sent him my address under requested circumstances. A week later I recieved a package in the mail. I opened it and found another package. I opened that and found another package. 8 packages later, I found a small disc with "Golden Smash" scrawled on it in sharpie. I figured this would be the greatest game I had ever played.
Boy, was I mistaken...
To be continued...
Hello. My name is Billy Smithers. No, not that gay guy on The Simpsons. He's my 2nd cousin. I have been blogging about top quality video games such as FNAF, FNAF2, FNAF3, FNAF4, FNAF World, Candy Crush, Custer's Revenge, and Super Monkey Ball. However, recently I decided to purchase Super Smash Bros. for the Wii U. Nothing wrong with that, right?
Haha...WRONG
It started when I looked up "popular video games". I saw it and looked for it at the store. I found it and asked my mom for $20 to purchase it. She refused and told me I needed a job. I applied for a job at Pizza Hut, so I came in with a security guard uniform, flashlight, and plushies of Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, Mangle, FNAF1 Golden Freddy, and FNAF4 Fredbear.
I was immediately fired. What a bunch of overrated normies.
Anywho, I spent most of my time in my Dank Swag Cave of 9000 Waifu Pillows (which, if you must know, is located in my mother's basement) crying and playing Super Smash Flash 2. I made a post on 4chan asking if anyone was selling it for under $10 on Craiglist.
2 years. I waited 2 years with nothing but Smash Flash 2 and my waifu body pillow of genderbent Goku. But then everything changed when the fire nation attacked (NO JUST BECAUSE I SAID THAT DOESNT MEAN I LIKE IT I HATE IT IT ISNT ANIME IT WAS MADE IN AMERICA OH MY GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE SO DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!111111111111111one!!!!!!!11)
I checked 4chan and, within all of the fat shaming, Shrekposting, and senseless gore, I managed to find a comment saying that he was giving away a limited edition copy known as Golden Smash Bros. that included Custer, AiAi (Super Monkey Ball),
Freddy Fazbear, the Puppet, and Springtrap, as well as a select few characters having unlockable "Golden" versions, which were gold-colored versions which were more powerful.
I asked him for his address and he told me to send him a message on spookydeepwebemail.chubsme.onion that contained a ceaser cipher encryption of my address backwards. When I asked why, he told me it was because that was the only game copy in existence that he found in a trash can in an alley behind an mental institution. When I asked him why he was going through a mental institution's alleyway trash can, he said "Trust me, some things are better left unspoken."
I sent him my address under requested circumstances. A week later I recieved a package in the mail. I opened it and found another package. I opened that and found another package. 8 packages later, I found a small disc with "Golden Smash" scrawled on it in sharpie. I figured this would be the greatest game I had ever played.
Boy, was I mistaken...
To be continued...